Case# 1870469 - May 9th, 10:32 AM. Suspect is a blonde woman over the age of thirty. She identifies herself as Vanessa Cage, and is filed under our Must Implement Liberal Frisking (MILF) category. The suspect is a former employee, and she refers to the Officer on duty by name. However, evidence shows that she has indeed stolen jewelry from the storefront. Because of her previous good standing, the Officer allows her to negotiate for her freedom.
